Demons

 

Elliot and his biggest demon...

    

    "There's a saying. The devil's at his strongest while we're looking the other way, like a program running in the background silently, while we're busy doing other shit. Daemons, they call them. They perform action without user interaction. Monitoring, logging, notifications. Primal urges, repressed
memories, unconscious habits. They're always there, always active. We can try to be right, we can try to be good. We can try to make a difference, but it's all bullshit. 'Cause intentions are irrelevant. They don't drive us. Daemons do. And me? I've got more than most. Daemons... they don't stop working. They're always active. They seduce. They manipulate. They own us. And even though you're with me even though I created you, it makes no difference. We all must deal with them alone. The best we can hope for... the only silver lining in all of this... is that when we break through, we find a few familiar faces waiting on the other side."

    

   👿 Demons 👿 We all have them. I've been really into this show called, "Mr. Robot" lately, and I really like the way it deals with inner and outer demons. The main character, Elliot, suffers from morphine addiction, amnesia, and his own inner demons, which manifest primarily as his dead father. I find this interaction between Elliot and his demons to be particularly intriguing. His Dad sometimes forces him to do horrible things, in order to further Elliot's own ambitions. And although Elliot realizes how powerful this can be, he also strives to rid himself of his curse in order to achieve his goals in a morally acceptable way. 

    The truth is, as ugly as they are, demons can be a source of motivation. Pain, suffering, heartache... all the negativity in our lives forces us to constantly seek the opposite. As far as addiction goes, this same truth can apply, if you let it. I've come to see each of my addictions as its own little demon. There's the marijuana demon, who lures me in with the promise of transforming the mundane; the alcohol demon who tries her damndest to convince me I won't make friends without her; the hard drug demon who tricks me with a false sense of spiritual connection... and of course, the cigarette demon... the most terrifying one of all, because he promises nothing but expects supreme loyalty.

    But I think the recurring theme of communicating with your demons, instead of just letting them run in the background, is important when it comes to addiction. Because they ain't going away. That's the thing with demons; they're immortal. They will never die. But neither will your inner light. And they know that. That's why they throw every artifice in the book at you to try and convince you otherwise. I think you'll find that if you stand and face them, the two of you can actually have a constructive conversation. The demon will flail and struggle, but if you keep at it, it will start making compromises. It took up residence in your soul, and it can never leave. But you can limit its power. And that, really, is what conquering addiction is all about.

    For me, they exist not just in the form of drug addictions, but as my anxiety, my failed relationships, and my self-doubt. If you are suffering from addiction, getting clean may present you with a lot of these other beasts, and dealing with them may very well be the difference between being successful or not.

    I encourage you to be gentle with yourself during this process. Again, I'm trying to stay away from religious language here, but repentance is an important part of getting sober. Admit your faults. Put your sins out there for others to see. If you do this from a place of positivity, honesty, and responsibility, I think you'll find that it makes letting go of the drugs a little easier.

    That's all for today, thanks for your continued support everyone 💜💜💜